I recently reread the book "Half in Love: Surviving the Legacy of Suicide," by Linda Gray Sexton. I had read her previous memoir as well as the compilation of her mother's letters, which Linda had edited. Linda Gray Sexton is the daughter of the acclaimed Pultizer Prize poet Anne Sexton. On the surface, one would think that this memoir is an accounting of her coming to term's with Anne's suicide, but it is more than that.
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Ms Sexton's family has a legacy of depression and suicide. Anne Sexton's death, hugging her mother's old fur with the car running in the garage, is well known. As was Sylvia Plath, she was a confessional poet who detailed her struggles via the lyrical format. Anne was not the only member of her generation and family who confronted such inner turmoil. Linda Gray Sexton explores the sad madness of the maiden aunt, the alcoholism of her grand-parents and the suicide of another relative. We now understand the genetic markers carried within our D.N.A. When combined with the drama of being raised by people thus burdened with an illness, for that is what it is, there's an increased propensity for the legacy to carry on.
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"Half in Love" looks at how medications have increased our ability to deal with this sickness, even though people may not necessarily be any more open to talking about problems within the family. Ms Sexton faced resistance when she disclosed that her book would be undertaking this exploration. In fact, while her sister Joy is a nurse, she had little understanding or compassion for Linda's struggles. Despite her education, she had a bias that one should be able to pull it together to resolve and overcome such infirmaties. Now, would be ever tell a person with cancer, to do this? We still have a ways to go. The chasm between Joy and Linda was so deep that they did not speak for periods. This is a hallmark of depression---when people most need help and should they actually try to speak of it to friends and family, many are unwilling to
hear or listen, let alone to assist.
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This memoir looks at the difference in mental health treatment in Anne Sexton's time as compared to now. She had a limited variety of drugs made available to her and these often had very negative side effects. Furthermore, Anne was very likely misdiagnosed at the start as a mere depressive. Only later in life was she called a "manic depressive," now known as bio-polar. Were she alive today, the drugs and the treatment may have helped prolong her life and enabled her to continue with her productivity. Anne Sexton detested the weight gain and sluggy slowness of Thorazine, as many creative people do.
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To add additional insult, Anne Sexton was labelled an hysteric when the darkness hit and she acted out. Compare this to labels afixed to males---how many get called that word? In fact, a male poet would be allowed the mood alteration, the drinking and, not being burdened by the task of house and home, would very likely have an easier go of it.
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Linda still had some dud therapists. Ironically, the suicidal are seen as being too much work and may have a hard time getting a doctor to accept them as a patient.
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Ms Sexton explores how she inherited the disease and her struggle to maintain her own family without passing on the legacy. I found that she also shared a history of migraines. Unless people suffer from chronic pain, it is hard to comprehend how soul defeating it can be. She is forthcoming about her utilization of self injury as a coping skill. She does not shy away from the fact that she failed her sons on the days she couldn't get out of bed. It is very honest.
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This is a good read for those who enjoy Anne Sexton's work, for those who have depression or bi-polar illness and for anybody who has an aquaintance with the disease.
