THE MILLION DOLLAR MAN (AND COUNTING)

`````The buses used to chug up that street. Sometimes, when they were fully loaded, they wouldn't even stop at the final pick-up on the hill. The vehicle was barely making it as it was, and there was a long line of cars behind it. Were it to come to a complete standstill, it most likely would never get going again.
`````Somebody used to run up that hill, though. I went to a university at the top---it was actually defined as a mountain. The view was beautiful on clear days, but it also got lost amongst the clouds. It was much colder up there. There were days when that first intake of air would sting the nostrils when stepping clear from that diesel spewing behemeth.
`````Terry Fox is an alumni of my university and today is the run on his behalf. He didn't want cancer to defeat him. An avid athlete, he fought it with all that he had. With one leg, he tackled that hill and charged up it. The incline was deadly. There were a couple of times I attempted it on a downward trajectory and when I did so, I made sure that the weather was nice. Even then, it took me some time to walk it. I had gravity in my favour. Like so much else, he took that on and ran against it.
`````Terry always made it up that hill, and likewise, inroads are being made into that disease. On a large part, it's due to him. Donations made on his behalf have raised millions of dollars. A disease which was once a death sentence now does not necessarily mean so, especially if caught early and depending which variety one has.
`````He wanted to help others win their battle, and began a run across Canada from east to west. He got up when it was still dark, and ran towards the setting sun at night. Sadly, he did not live to complete the run as his cancer returned.
`````Thanks to people like him, my father beat non-Hodgkins Lymphoma a number of years ago, even though his prognosis had been poor. Terry was always self-effacing and sought only to broadcast his message; it was never about him. For all those out there today, I hope the weather holds out. Think of that hill he did on one leg.

STUPID HEADLINES

`````The headline was in a well known, leading paper, yet it was vulgar and offensive and was the sort of thing that one would expect in a tabloid. It began with some tag line having to do with "Obese Teen Dies in Fire..." It went on to relate how she was too heavy for the fire personnel to rescue her. I started checking other papers and the song, as they say, remained the same.

`````Her name was Jamaya Herron and she was eighteen years old. Evidentally, she loved to attend the church where her father was the Baptist preacher. Those who knew her said that she was a very nice, girl, with some health problems. There was a photo of her in the paper and she had a beautiful face with glowing skin. When I looked at the picture, I could see that her eyes radiated warmth. I won't say what her weight was, as there's enough focus on that.

`````I wrote the other day about how so many comments have become hateful; well, I rest my case. People are spiteful, making references to Darwinism at work. This story makes me very sad and angry. This home was a single story structure. The family had no running water and no electricity, yet there were two other younger children living in it. The fire happened around four in the morning, as a candle got knocked over. It would seem to me that they must have been using this as a source of light. I would think that they'd need it to find their way to the washroom at night, especially with kids in the house, so they'd probably leave one burning. Even without hot water, I think that the toilet might still flush in Madison Wisconson, as they wouldn't be on a well water system. I looked at the weather network, and saw that, while it wasn't cold that night, it wasn't exactly warm either. Think about that; no heat and fall is starting to sneak in. There's that nip in the air.

`````I know how cruel kids can be, and I am imagining what it's like for these kids to go to school without being able to wash. By the way, these two kids had been taken into this family a couple of years back. They were not the natural children. The girl, Jamaya, was the daughter of the two adults living in the home.

`````For those who suggest that she should have been eating healthier, try doing that when there's no way to cook that food. She would have had to eat only food that was picked up already wrapped and ready to go.

`````The parents managed to get themselves out of the house, yet they left the three kids inside. There obviously was no functioning smoke detector inside the house. People panic in fires, so we can allow them rushing outside, perhaps. Some might suggest that even animals burn themselves in their attempts to get their kittens out of harms way. However, nobody knows what goes through a person's head when self preservation kicks in. That's why the investment in items such as smoke detectors, especially when there are kids in the house is wise. If Jamaya had health issues, she probably felt the smoke's effects before others.

`````I was disgusted in reading the comments on various sites. On the Daily News Online, one man had over 600 people agree with him when he suggested that this indicated that this is what happens when they hire female fire-fighters. At no time in the story was there anything to show that this correlated to that at all. This obviously indicated the bias of the reader. The story laid out clearly that the window wouldn't allow for Jamaya to be passed through, and by the time she reached the door, she had suffered smoke inhalation. Somebody else, who called himself a moniker which indicated that he was a N-hater (insert rest of the N word), went on a rant about it having been a good thing on another site. There was the usual fat hatred and racial crap.

`````This actually brings up a double standard. About a week ago, another girl died in New York. She was 17 and thin, with a different skin colour. She fell out a high rise window. She was also rich and good looking. The comments in her case were different; how sad and what a shame, even though she'd climbed out on a ledge to take a picture after a night of partying. What? Nothing about Darwinism at work? The loss of young people with potential is always a waste and an accident is always just that. I'm sick to death of journalists exploiting it.

TO FORGIVE DIVINE?

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

`````It was the proverbial Oprah moment. I had picked up the phone and there was a person on the other end that I had never expected to hear from again. To be honest, I didn't really want to discover that she was there. It would have been better had she looked me up on Facebook. I would never have known, as I cannot get into that account.

`````I've written in previous blogs of somebody who teased me. Well, here she was. It was that odd relationship that girls can have. I would highly recommend the superb book by Margret Atwood called "Cat's Eye", as she captures it like no other writer. How certain girls can be friends one minute with their comrades and then pull the perfect transformation the next. Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde should actually have been written about a group of little girls, as that would have been more on the mark. Should you pose the question "Who knows what evil lurks?" Surely it can be found in the heart of those little darlings gathered in the playground.

`````So there I was, on the phone. All these years later, I felt the fear return. It was like something out of a horror movie. I felt like the babysitter in the house who picks up the receiver and finds that the psycho is back; the person long thought dead or stuck in an asylum has returned.

`````I really am not kidding all that much. Sandra J had the bouncing and behaving curly locks that my stick straight hair could never achieve. She'd look the teacher dead in the eye with her sparkling brown eyes and then wait until she left the room and steal several of her felt markers. She kept them zipped inside the lining of one of her stuffed animals. She did not fear getting caught. Sandra would pick on one girl in particular, for no reason other then the fact that her mother dressed her like an old lady. Her hair was piled atop her head in a frumpy bun. Sandra would start nasty rumours about people and expect others to spread them. I wouldn't play ball and my punishment was that I was soon on the receiving end of her bullying myself. We'd once been friends, so I think she saw my not going along with her as a form of betrayl. Given her good looks, I don't think she'd ever had anybody say "no" to her antics before.

`````One day, she literally stabbed me in the back. She took her leaded pencil and drove it far into me, so that the tip embedded itself under my skin. Because it became infected, I have a green discolouration on my skin to this day. At least she missed my spine. This was a girl in need of serious intervention.

`````Now, here we were, years later. I'd never known what had happened to her, as my parents had wanted to buy a house and couldn't afford to do so in the city. As it turns out, her family had moved at about the same time.

`````Sandra J was calling to apologize for what she had done in the past. She said that she realized she had been a terrible bully and she wanted to say that she was sorry. I accepted it and we talked for a while. She was about to get married and she had done a bit of travelling. She mentioned to me that there were some things going on in her life at the time which had caused her to act in the way that she did. She didn't elaborate, and I didn't ask.

`````I had accepted her apology because it was the decent thing to do, but to be honest, I don't feel it in my heart. I let her off the hook because I had the feeling she was probably working the steps to some program. I've taken enough drug counselling courses to know the steps and I really applaud those who seek help and do battle with their demons. On the other hand, bullying really has a profound effect on kids. It goes on in the workplace too, especially by women. It is not okay to exclude people. The petty office politics and the gossip can be really destructive.

`````The culture, in general, seems to be getting meaner. Perhaps it has something to do with the annonymous nature that people think the internet offers them. In the past, people might have disagreed with something, but at least they could argue about it in a fair manner. Each side would agree to present their position in a coherent, logical fashion. Now, if somebody disagrees with a person's point of view, they automatically resort to name-calling. Usually that amounts to insulting the person's gender or sexual orientation. I've noticed something really interesting, by the way. The worst spelling and the stupidest comments come from those who use monikers on their postings which refer to the size of their, how shall I phrase this, anatomy....or a specific practice which involves a number. If you read the postings, especially on Youtube, the most idiotic diatribes come from those bearing names such as "Hung9inches". The spelling will be bad, there will be no punctucation and every comment ends with "you're gay." So much for the fine art of debate. I actually love the freedom of speech. I think the more we let idiots rant on with their racist nonsense, the more we let the rest of the world see what fools they truly are. If we try to silence them, people might try to create some conspiracy theory that there's a hidden message we're trying to suppress. Please, the morons will run out of steam soon enough. Either that or they'll get distracted by some other shiny object.

`````On that note, back to where I began, with my Oprah moment and the phonecall: I hope that she was sincere when she called. I think she was. Any kids that she has, I hope she remembers and understands the value of words and how kids pick things up. Don't put people down in their presence, as they'll learn that it's okay to do so. I only wish I could feel it in my heart.

NORTON SUCKS

What a scam. Beside the little Norton icon I had a red X. When I clicked on as to why, it indicated that there was a problem with the browser. I tried to rectify it, but Norton kept switching it back to the unsafe mode. They told me that I didn't have the product key. Now, I have been paying them via my charge card for three years running on the same date; they draw the money off my account. I had 256 days left in my account. For all these years, if I had the product key, surely I still have it. They had a little message that I needed to uninstall their product, and then reinstall it. Bull. If I did that, I know they'd charge me again. I sent them a message telling them what I thought of their idea and the fact that this was a rip off. Suddenly, their little Norton Icon was totally missing.

No wonder so many people switch to AVG.

THE CRY WOLF BRIGADE

I am really divided on the whole Ines Sainz issue. For those not familiar with the story, she's the

female sports reporter who felt that she was on the receiving end of catcalls and boorish behaviour while interviewing a member of the Jets in New York. The photo above is the outfit that she wore while conducting the interview. She herself tweeted the picture.

I think that any woman should be able to go about her business without being bothered. However, they should also have some concept of reality and their environment. They should not be a hypocrite. This woman freely calls herself the "hottest sports reporter." She used to be a beauty queen, so she's traded on her looks in the past. In what other work environment would this outfit be appropriate? I highly doubt that a male sports reporter would go into a locker room environment wearing a sexually provocative outfit. Most of them wear suits and bad toupees.

Here is another photo of Ines Sainz conducting an interview. I doubt it was her Mensa abilities that got her the job.

One rarely, if ever, reads stories of males being given direction about inappropriate attire. Yet, there are stories of female lawyers being told that their skirts are too short and that their tops are too low for the court-room. Why is it that some women have to resort to such games to get ahead? We should be able to operate on the same playing field as men. A person can still be feminine without being sleazy. If someone is going to dress a certain way in front of certain people, there may be consequences, like it or not. Face it, some people aren't the brightest bulbs in the chandelair. A man wouldn't walk into a park in the dead of night with their wallet showing. Why would a woman dress like this going into a locker-room and then expect to be treated like a professional? It doesn't make sense. If she's going to trade on her looks one day, she can't be offended when people don't treat her with the respect that Howard Cosell had.

I suppose it got what she wanted, and that was more publicity. The sad thing is that it hurt the women out there who are actually capable of doing a good job.

TABLOIDS AND THE TRUTH

````` One good thing about not being rich and famous is that there's nobody willing to sell a person out for profit to some tabloid. I just read the paper and came upon a story wherein a boxer apologized after being secretly filmed doing cocaine. This comes right after revelations by hookers of other sports stars partying with them. A few years ago, most of us can probably recall how Kate Moss was filmed doing drugs by a friend, as was Pete Doherty. Ah, the joys of fame.

`````I would hate to think of what hidden cameras would capture me doing around my house. First of all, I should be cleaning and I'm not; the place is a mess. I'd probably be stuck on an episode of "Hoarders." I used to be really anal about this sort of thing, but I'm in a very down mood. Sometimes I walk around the house in very unfashionable ensembles....oh, the horror. Glamour Magazine would place one of those black electrical tape-like things across my head and I would definitely be a "don't." On other occasions, I place the headphones on my skull and what comes out of my mouth could get me charged for animal cruelty, as the poor cats scurry off to escape the noise. They should have used me to sing out of the helicopter on "Apocalypse Now" in their attempts to scare the denizens of the jungle; it would have been much more effective then Jimmy Hendrix or whatever it was that they played. They probably wouldn't have had to fire a shot. They'd have committed suicide themselves just to escape the torture. But, all joking aside, who hasn't danced around their house or done something embarrassing? Now, what if somebody were to set up a camera and sell it? That's what some famous people are facing.

`````I have written previously of those who are stupid enough to allow others to film them naked. If they don't think they'll share it when they break up, they have another thing coming. The same thing goes for the people who text racy photos of themselves to guys they don't know well. If you want to contribute to your own demise, go for it. I have a problem when it's done without your knowledge, however. That needs to be against the law.

`````There are people who sometimes try to make a huge issue out of a nonevent; the fact that two people might have known each other hardly makes a conspiracy. I recall during the last election that there were several attempts to suggest that President Obama and Bill Ayres had a relationship that was unprofessional, given Ayres' background with the Weathermen. Obama would have been a child when all of this took place, and Ayres is now an instructor. Unless those same people are going to say that every student in that man's classroom is also a terrorist by virtue of the same contact, it's an inappropriate arguement.

`````It is scary to think how a person could swing any contact I might have had in the past to look bad. There are already records of what we check on-line. Sometimes I Google some very odd topics and my reading choices are all over the map. I'm sure some profiler could come up with something scary if they opted to do so.

`````Many years ago, I knew somebody who had nothing but bad luck with roommates. She wasn't making a lot of money, so she had to share. In her first choice, she lived with a male (platonic), who ran up the phone bill, took a bunch of MDA one night, then jumped out the window. She hardly knew the guy; he was younger then her and they rarely crossed paths. But, now she had to somehow explain his death. She also had to pay off the bills and her credit was bad for a while as the rental had been in her name. Another time, she shared with a guy who she knew a bit. For some reason, I always had an odd feeling when I talked to her on the phone and I used to tell her that I felt like somebody was listening. Sure enough, one day the cops showed up with a warrant. He was under suspicion for several robberies and dealing. She'd had no idea again. So, our phone conversations probably had been listened to. As it turns out, there was nothing to substantiate the charges, but she was ridden with nerves for a while. I used to joke with her that I always hoped that if she ever married that she'd pick her husband better then she picked her roommates. Like it or not, she was labelled by people she really didn't know but with whom she had chance encounters. She was young then. But, let's say she were now to run for office or become famous. How could this look? It would be on the front page as a scandal from her past.

`````I guess it's because of this that I do not necessarily believe gossip when I hear it. I always think that one needs to dig deeper as well. It is possible to set people up. For instance, somebody can snap a photograph of some bimbo hanging off of an individual, but it doesn't mean that they were together. She may have approached him at a party, chatted him up, then asked for a photo for Facebook. Next thing you know, he's being accused of cheating. It's all well and good to appreciate those tabloids as the escapist entertainment that they are, but we mustn't believe them. After all, everybody has things going on that could "look bad."

THE CRINGING KID

CBC News - British Columbia - Sauerkraut explosion prompts quarantine

I have to provide the link to this story. The comments must be read as some of them are very funny. You just know that the kid who brought this lunch probably wishes that his parent would get with the program and pack PBJ like every other parent.

WRITING ABOUT THAT DAY

`````Given the date, I want to write about "the event." When I heard about it, I was just getting off my shift. I had one more working day to go and then I was due to start my vacation leave. My friend had booked a suite downtown, as a person he'd met on a diving expedition was going to come here. He was a cryptozoologist from Europe who was interested in sasquatch. So, we were going to give him the full meal deal before he went off into the hinterland to do his thing. When I heard the news and saw that the air-space was being closed and planes grounded, I said to my friend "Don't count on his getting out here." He wasn't due to arrive for a couple of days, but in my heart I knew that this was going to be bad. I went home and watched the replay of the second tower falling.

`````I didn't sleep that entire day, because like everybody else, I was transfixed by the events and the horror of how many were missing. They didn't know at the time. There were reports of 50,000 people working in each building, so the numbers could have been devastating. At some point, the news stations stopped playing the footage of those falling to their deaths.

`````I have always loved that city and wanted to go there. I've written previously of how, as a kid in high-school, I had one of the weekend New York papers mailed to my house. In an ideal world, that's where I would have gone to university. I had a city map of New York in my room as a teen in Junior High. I knew where Lexington was and 5th Avenue. I knew the names of the city buroughs.

`````These were ordinary people, just going on about their lives. They'd begrudgingly dragged their butts out of bed to get to some office job that they might not be crazy about. They weren't soldiers who had taken on some degree of risk to go fight in a foreign country. It was absolutely uncalled for. Who died had nothing to do with beliefs, as the targets were random. There were Muslims who worked in those buildings and were slaughtered on that day. It was about the blindness of ideology and where a lack of understanding takes a person.

`````What I was most moved by was the story of those who obviously knew that they might die on that day, yet willingly took a risk in order to save the life of another. There were stories of regular people who did just that. They would help the injured down the stairs, which impeded their own ability to escape. So many fire staff died on that day. The prospect of having to climb those stairs with all of that gear on them, must have seemed so daunting. I've had to put on fire gear before; the SCBA with the harness isn't light. You have to control your breathing, as you only have a specific amount of air before you have to leave again. To think of having to do it going up stairs...I cannot imagine it. When they passed by the civilians who had severe lacerations and burns, they knew what was awaiting them up there.

`````We checked into the hotel for our vacation, and they asked if we'd give up our suite, as there were so many stranded travellers. We gladly did so and took a smaller room instead. By the way, kudos to the Delta Hotel. There were reports coming out on the news of hotels across the continent increasing their rates for people forced to stay. The Delta bent over backwards and had cots made available at no cost. They had extra food laid out in the lobby and such. Every so often, we'd spot a new "plane-load" of British Airways staff or others coming into the hotel, looking tired as they carried their hand luggage.

`````The hotel has a large, international conference room with a huge screen and circular seating. When the televized minute of silence and ceremony was being held, they had made the room available. I attended it and there were men in suits, obviously from all parts of the United States, with their heads bowed and very pained by the moment. They had probably been in town on business when the incident took place and were now stuck here. It must have been difficult for them to be away from their families at such a time.

`````I doubt this nonsense is going to stop anytime soon. But, I still think of those people who died and those who were so brave that day. I hunted out something which I wrote at work on my last shift. It took about five minutes, but I wrote it when they were still showing images of the burning piles and the anguished loved ones waving the missing posters.
`
Snow came down this summer,
And midnight seized the day
Calm begat brute thunder
Then concrete gave away.
`
As hell fell out of Heaven
Grey ghosts in shadows walked.
On this September 11
The innocent were stalked.
`
Yet heros rose amongst them
Took battle with their fear
Though sent adrift in Dante's Den
They entered with their gear.o

JUST KILL ME IF I'VE BECOME A PRUDE

`````Unfortunately, I had to leave a condolence note today and in doing so, I saw that there is information given as to proper etiquette at viewings and funerals. I started to think "who would need to be told", when I flashed back onto something that took place a few years ago. I was attending a funeral service, and the daughter of the woman who had died was wearing a tank top (coral or pink, if I recall), which made her tattoos visible. As she was sitting in the front pew, it was impossible to miss.

`````Times have changed; there used to be rules about not wearing black to weddings, but that has long gone out the window. I see fashion magazines displaying a colour they call "winter white" all the time, whereas it was once taboo to sport that shade after Labour Day. Part of me, however, still thinks that there are certain times that Miss Manners needs to be consulted. Funerals might just be one of those moments.

`````I am absolutely not a prude. I was gawked at for my punk attire when I was younger. Yet, even though I was thin back then, I never opted to flaunt skin and a funeral would certainly not be a place where I would have decided to start. I embrace those who are capable of expressing their individuality and standing apart from the herd. Some can do it with finesse and style and still be appropriate (like some of Diane Keaton's outfits). Dressing like a pole dancer doesn't make the cut.

`````It seems that people, in general, have lost some degree of common sense when it comes to how they should conduct themselves. They talk loudly on cell phones in movie theatres. They'll dress like slobs when they go out for dinner in nice restaurants and then spend the evening texting a third party instead of talking to their partner. It's sort of odd that clothing for little girls seems trampy and too old for them, whereas women in their 40's are sometimes dressing like teenagers. Then there are the guys who are dressed forever like some hood-rat. It's not appealing.

`````What happened to those black and white movies with guys in suits that look like Montgomery Clift and women who had class like Audrey Hepburn? Since when did we aspire to behave like Snooki? When we no longer have the decency to dress properly for the dead, it's gotten out of hand. So, I guess we do need a page explaining the etiquette of funerals.

THE RUNAWAY COMES BACK

`````She is at home now; safe with her Dad and Grandmother, but it could have been bad. The girl is fifteen and she has no idea of what people are like. I don't want her to find out either. I know; as an adult I have to see it on a daily basis and it's left me jaundiced towards the world. There isn't always a happy ending. People will do bad things because it gives them pleasure and because they like that sense of power.

`````A while ago, her parents divorced and the other day, she ran away. This time, she stayed with her friend and was found safely at her home. The problem is that once they do it, they are prone to do it again unless they are given some other way to express their pain and anger. They usually find salvation via some loser older boyfriend. It's sadly ironic that they didn't like the rules at home, but they'll accept it from some guy who becomes increasingly more controlling.

`````Her Dad loves her to death; he was beyond himself with worry and grief when he heard that she was missing. The entire Pickton case is so fresh in the minds of everybody. You always think that this cannot happen to somebody that you know or within your extended family. It's so frustrating for the parents because there isn't much the one person can do unless the other individual is on board. After a certain grade they cannot be forced to go to school, so they cannot be declared a truant. As for the age of consent, they don't care as long as the guy she opts to get involved with isn't much older then her. It's so sickening that they will fine the crap out of you when you forget to buckle your seatbelt, but a kid can spiral absolutely out of control and out of reach and there's nothing that a parent can do.

`````For the time being, she's in the process of starting a new school and settling in with her Dad. I really hope it works out. This is a good kid who has no idea how quickly it can go bad. I guess I'll hear more when I visit my mother tomorrow (in a few hours, actually).

IT WOULD NEVER WORK

Company presses your ashes into vinyl when you die

`````I was reading the "Unexplained Mysteries" Website (okay, I admit it), when I came upon this article. If you don't want to link onto it, here's a quick rundown. When you die, this company will press your ashes into a vinyl record, and add your voice to it, or your favourite song or your last will and testament. I know it wouldn't work. Since nothing quite works for me in life, it would surely screw up in the afterlife as well.

`````For example, the last time I went to the Doctor, I found out that I didn't exist. Not only didn't I have an appointment (one needs to book a month in advance), but there was no record of my ever having been there before. I insisted that I had indeed been there before. When they walked over and found the paper file, they realized that perhaps their computer had made a mistake. No kidding. I felt like I was in that Sandra Bullock movie. A while back I had taken pains to order an air conditioner that was not made in China from Sears. I paid extra to ensure that didn't happen. It took five weeks for it to show up and after lugging the portable room to room machine up the stairs by myself and setting it up, I found that they'd sent me the made in China variety, yet charged me for the made in North America variety. When I called to complain, the woman on the other end said they might not reimburse me. Of course, by this time, everything was sold out. When they later called me and woke me up to sell me the extended product warranty, which of course I'd now need, seeing that I had the made in China junk, I told them not to call me again, and the woman hung up on me. Good service.

`````Have you ever tried to call and get a trades person to show up at your house? Have they come at the time they said they would? Okay, you get my point. Now, let's just imagine that you're going to place your ashes into somebody's hands. It's for certain going to be screwed up. For all eternity, they would embed me into some stinking Britney Spears song. It would just be my luck that I would then discover that there was an afterlife after all. I would be stuck spinning around to her, or Debby Boone, rather then Joy Division, which is rather more befitting my personality. Oh, the horror. To think that there would be no escape from having to listen for all eternity to that racket...that prefabricated canned music. See, there really is a hell after all.

THE ALTERNATIVE JUNIOR HIGH EXPERIENCE

PHOTO BADLY REPRODUCED FROM YEARBOOK
THE CLASS WAS "HERSTORY" AS A REPLACEMENT TO 'HISTORY"

`````September has always been like New Years for me; it's the true start of the new year and therefore of new possibilities. That's the time to reinvent yourself, start diets, get those lists going. I guess it goes back to the days of school. September was when we returned. With it, as with New Years, came the chance of starting afresh. Over the summer, a person could have lost weight or gotten their hair done differently. You could have bought totally new and radical clothing. At that age, you could even have decided to start to hang with a totally different crowd. The bland face of suburbia had yet to afix itself and the rolls that we had to play in life had not yet been adopted. We could still shrug them on and off easily.

`````I was always lucky in that I had good teachers early on that got me interested in school. That can make such a huge difference. I remember that I revered the woman who was my first teacher, the wonderful Mrs. Kennedy; how I was lucky to have her for my first two years of elementary school. She was a truly caring and compassionate woman and I embraced learning because of her. I compare that to the guy my brother had. All he did was have the kids run around outside.

`````I later had a teacher, again for two years, who taught me the power of independant thought. She was the first instructor who afixed "Ms" in front of her name, and she made me realize that being a girl wasn't a handicap or an excuse. It came with responsibilities. She taught the entire class how to play chess. Thanks to her, our class had the revolutionary idea to say "no" to the usual sex education concept that the girls and boys were shown a film seperately about the facts of life and birth control. We demanded that we share the experience; after all, we weren't any different. She agreed and it was the first time it was done. But, we had to be democratic about it and it had to go to a vote. It was pretty well unanninmous.

`````I know that things have changed now. When we fell as kids, the teacher would come over and give you a hug. Thanks to the odd bad instructor and a few hysterical parents, teachers, even if they want to, are afraid to reach over and reassure you. Some kids might come from bad homes and that adult was the only person who cared. Now, they are being denied that. It's too bad. I understand that they have to protect themselves from false accusations, but it's the kids that are missing out.

`````Junior high offered an experiment; the alternative educational experience. It ran on a semester system with the opportunity to select courses. Thus, I found myself picking classes such as literature, film, spelling. One of my classes was "Herstory", as opposed to "History." Yes, that's us in our outfits for class. I actually worked hard for it. I kept a diary, which I had to make up but which had to be based on the reality of the times, on a female pioneer. I recall doing a research project into the life of Louisa May Alcott. I sewed the dress and hat that I am wearing in the photo from scratch (I am the blond in the front row, third from the right). I knew that I was shy, so I forced myself to take a class in debate to get myself up in front of the class to speak. To this day, I still pull the names out of my memory bank on some poem by Margaret Atwood from literature class or some director from film. I must have picked up something in my Grammar class, as my friend didn't complain too much about the proofing that I did for him. My French teacher was amazing; she'd bring her toilet paper collection to class, which featured the worst toilet paper squares in the world to show us how spoiled North Americans were. She taught us the curse words that we really shouldn't know. She took us downtown to a fancy restaurant at the top of a glass elevator. We loved her for it. Years later, when I heard that this wonderful woman who adored kids had had a miscarriage, I grieved for her.

`````Every September, I think of how lucky I was to have encountered so many dedicated people and I think that I should thank them somehow. They don't get paid enough. They are never forgotten by me; I hope they know that. A part of them is always there and I still love to learn.

DON'T GIVE THIS IDIOT PUBLICITY

`````First, I have to state that I've come to note over the years that for some reason, the freaks always have bad facial hair. Every time some guy goes off the rails, bad facial hair is involved. I've started to point this out to people and they've agreed with my theory. All the guys that keep kids in their basement, abduct people, just cause general mayhem...check out the beards and 'staches. I'm sure some therapist could come up with a theory about them having something to hide. As far as this guy is concerned, if he had some fake and bake on him and a mullet, he could pass for that coked out, ex-con bounty hunter. But, I digress.

`````Please, don't give this guy any more air play. His stupid church has only a few people in it. He's looking for power and control; something he is lacking in his inadequate little life. He's never felt so important. I am not going to print his name in my blog. If this guy had any balls, he would go over to a Muslim country and burn their religious book in their own turf. But, of course that's a part of the anatomy which he is lacking. Thus, he will stay here, safely guarded by his gun (he admitted to having one) and police protection if need be and burn it. This, of course, only puts the lives of others at risk. The lives of those who have to serve over seas, because they needed the money to go to school. Not that this hypocrite cares about that. All the while, he will feel like the big man and he will win the support of a few rednecks. The Vatican and other leaders have spoken out against him. I am sure he is too stupid to truly understand religious doctrine. My guess would also be that he's one of those guys that also believes that only his "kind" find salvation. So please, no more publicity. He might find some more idiots to follow his flock.

WALKEN AS A VAMPIRE

I saw this years ago at a film festival and I loved it. The black and white film is beautiful and highlights Walken's wonderful cheekbones along with the sinister aspects of New York's city streets. You have to adore a film in which he discusses vampirism along with Burroughs. I highly recommend this one. I went out and bought it. The film studies good and evil; how we are drawn to either one and whether we have the strength to reject such forces. It's actually a very philosophical concept.

DON'T SOAK IN THIS

`````Soothing indeed. Do these and you may end up so agitated that you don't sleep for a couple of days. Two people in England have been confirmed dead as a result of them. For, these "bath salts" are the new drug of choice in England. They are cheap and legal. And joy of joys, they offer the prospect of weight loss and energy. In fact, before her death, one woman went from a size sixteen to a size six in a matter of months. She had recently been married and was upset about her weight. In the past, there were reports that she'd had issues with her appearance and food. She began to snort these bath salts.

`````After reading the article on this item, Ivory Wave, I checked out the web site. Sure enough, there's discussion about how intense the high is. One person reported not sleeping for over 48 hours. The price is between fifteen and eighteen pounds, which is much cheaper then speed or cocaine and has the added benefit of being legal. It has replaced a drug called "meow meow", which was being sold as fertilizer and was legal until a while ago. These all fall under the category of designer drugs; they are synethsized in a lab and have a chemical makeup similiar to drugs already out there. Because they have a molecule that is off those that are listed on the charts, they technically aren't illegal until so listed. Dozens of people either died or became very ill from the "meow meow" drug until legislators had the chance to place it on the banned list. It too was a stimulant.

`````Ivory Wave has caused people to become paranoid, not sleep and have seizures. Their blood pressure goes up and they become agitated. Why the appeal? Unfortunately, many women seek out such drugs because they want to lose weight. Over the years the drugs change, but the motivation doesn't. Check out the so-called "pro-ana" websites. For those unfamiliar with the term, these tell people how to lose weight in less then healthy ways. The readers are not those who need to drop a few pounds either; they are people who are already well under their ideal weight. People swap tips on the best ways to vomit and hide it. Little tricks like that. Some of these sites also offer information on how to go about getting medication that helps you lose weight.

`````Some people start to use this stuff to drop a few pounds and soon find that they are unable to stop. For those already prone to compulsive behaviour, it isn't a difficult trap to get into. In this case, it is possible for a person to be a slave to two masters. For somebody who is already hurting their body, to do drugs on top of it is a sure way to hit the grave fast. While some of this medication has a purpose for those who genuinely need it, it is not meant to be abused. For example, Topamax is a medication for seizures. It is also given to those with really bad migraines. However, it's been found that it may cause weight loss. Thus, pro-ana websites will sometimes mention that people should fake migraines to get a doctor to prescribe the drug. This medication was found to be in the possession of both Anna Nicole Smith and Britney Murphy; both women who lost a lot of weight prior to their dying.

`````By the way, men are also using items to alter their bodies. However, they tend to purchase chemicals to make themselves bigger. The drive is the same; a dislike of the self or a dissatisfaction with the goods. If you buy something in the gym, it's probably not going to be pure or the real thing. Some might not even be meant for human usage. I once knew somebody who wrestled and he was as well aware of which laxatives worked the best for dropping weight as I was. Furthermore, a guy who did a bit of modelling once gave me the name of a doctor who was known to prescribe medication even if you didn't need it (the notrious "Dr M"). He was as crazed about his weight as I was at the time. It isn't just a female thing.

`````In the meantime, the hospitals are keeping an eye out for people getting ill from this new drug and there's a move afoot to ban this one too. But, another one will most likely pop up when that happens. Better living through chemistry?

CLASSIC 70'S TV MOVIE AND A GUILTY PLEASURE

This is classic 70's. It stars Mr Brady and the original woman from Eight is Enough, along with one of the Sweathogs from Welcome Back Kotter. It's actually a well done movie and is one of my guilty pleasures. It has every thing that 70's movies need. The cool girl rides a horse. There's a ballad by Paul Williams in the soundtrack, which soars whenever the drama rises. As an insomniac, I've come to appreciate the fine nuances of 70's T.V. movies (the devil was big too). Here's some trivia; John Travolta fell in love with the woman who played his mother in the film, even though she was much older then him. She went on the develop cancer when starring on Eight is Enough and subsequently died. It deeply effected John Travolta, who was filming Saturday Night Fever at the time.

BEAUTY ON THE INSIDE AS WELL AS THE OUTSIDE

`````Years ago, I picked up a book in a delete bin about women from the 60's who had been icons in one way or another. I knew who most of them were, but there was a person that I didn't recognize and her story was truly inspirational. That person was Chris Noel. She had done some acting and had been in films with Elvis Presley, Steve McQueen and others whose names you would know. In fact, had she played her cards differently, her career may have really taken off.

`````Chris Noel was a very attractive woman, but she also had that "it" factor, which made her appealing to both men and women. She came across as a nice person who wasn't a threat. One day she made a visit to a Veteran's Hospital, and in the amputee ward she was overcome with the smell of those suffering from gangrene. These were young men who had served their country, and they were paying dearly for it. She felt that she had to do something.

`````The politics of the time were such that people mixed up supporting troops with supporting the war. Thus, they all too often turned their back on them. By making the choice that she did, it had a negative impact on her career. It was not cool in Hollywood to be seen as siding with the war; it was Conservative...not hip. Chris didn't care, as she followed her heart.

`````She did several tours to Viet Nam. This was at a time that was very different then it is today. There were no cell phones, so if you were in country, you were really removed from things. If you were sporting a flak jacket, it was heavy and hot. The helicopter she was in was actually shot down. She became such a popular fixture for the troops that the Viet Cong put a bounty on her head of $10,000.

`````Her support did not end once the war did. She understands the agony of PTSD. The man she married killed himself as a result of it. To this day, she continues to offer assistance to Viet Nam War veterans. A new study that just came out the other day, by the way, indicates that these people are more prone to suffer dementia on top of every other ailment that they have already gone through. If anybody knows a person who has PTSD, it is a horrid affliction; people find it difficult to connect with others. They are prone to abuse alcohol and drugs, attempt suicide, engage in risky behavior and remain hyper vigilante at all times.

`````I have included a link to Chris' web site. She runs it herself and it has a number of clips from her films. There is also a petition, as there is a move under way to have her receive a medal for the work she did in Viet Nam. I do believe that she truly deserves it.

LINK TO CHRIS NOEL WEB SITE

Hi love! Welcome to ChrisNoel.com

There are video clips here, a petition for the Presidential Medal of Freedom and old articles and photographs.

SCHMUTZ, OLLIE, LUMPY, CHESTER, DOT

Black cats, lay drugged by the sun.

Impaled on the blades of light.

ENOUGH WITH THOSE ARTICLES ON 'FAT STARS'`

`````I don't want to sound like that guy who stood behind the curtains in his Grandmother's den and started to wail about leaving Britney alone, but I am sick of the interest the media has taken in Misha Barton's weight. I am not a fan; I think I may have watched two episodes of the O.C. when it first came out. But the other day there was an article about her in some paper. It isn't just the tabloids which comment on her weight gain. The paper posted what they deemed to be unflattering outfits and stated that she was once a style icon.

`````I can imagine how she feels. While my weight gain drama wasn't played out for the world to see, I certainly felt as though it were. I felt like I had a flashing neon sign over my head declaring that I was a disgusting pig. I still feel like the world's biggest screw-up. She has every pound speculated upon in a very public fashion. Photographers try to snap a photo of her cellulite. It's no longer the quality of her acting which matters, but only how she acts. In fact, because she's no longer "hot enough", she isn't acting as much as she once was, or demanding the same level of pay.

`````I'll be honest. I think that I've probably engaged in every type of disordered eating that's out there except for pica. Nobody's heard of that one...it's where the victims eat non edible items such as grass or paint peelings. Other then that, it's probably been within the repertoire of my behavior at some point. I've written about the anorexia, but that found its way into laxative abuse after consuming huge amounts of food. Add to that compulsive overeating, using physical activity to get rid of food eaten, binge eating---well, you get the point. Been there, done that, and have the t-shirt in sizes from extra small to extra large.

`````Misha Barton's "friends" dumped her when she gained weight. She found that people would turn their backs on her and she was no longer invited to the cool parties with the in people. She's the same person. My guess is that the weight gain is from medication, as it came about around the time of her hospitalization in a psychiatric hospital. Many medications, be they for bi-polar disorder or medications such as seroquel state that weight gain may result. Don't put the girl into the position of having to choose her mental well-being, and perhaps her life, with weight gain. Furthermore, she is normal by any body's standards other then the film industry or the modelling industry. She's a very attractive woman.

`````As to the comments about her clothing, boy do I understand that one. If you feel bad about how you look, one develops rules for dressing. No shorts, no bathing suits, no short sleeves. There always has to be a jacket or a vest hanging to cover the stomach. If you have to get up to use the restroom, have a purse big enough to cover your gut when you walk. It's insane the planning. The problem is, those aren't necessarily the clothes that you would buy or wear if you were thin. You merely make do. Mind you, that's what you do with your entire life; the weight unhappiness controls every facet of your life. You buy stuff that feels too old for you. You miss out on going to the beach and you avoid the heat, because going out there in all black clothes in long sleeves is very uncomfortable.

`````I hadn't been able to blog about it when I first read it, but I put an article aside. One of the trash tabloids ran an article on food swaps to help people lose weight and they ran photos of Tori Spelling, Brittany Snow, Nicky Hilton and Audrina Patridge with the article. A couple of those women are suspected of having some current issues with food. In the article, beside Tori's photo, it suggested that we replace potato salad with cucumber salad, as it's 400 calories versus 50. I found it ironic that they said "beware the family barbeque." I would say that in Tori's case that would only apply if they were worried about the drama from family dynamics, certainly not calories.

`````I once read that many nutritionists themselves have disordered eating. If the "nutrition director" honestly thinks that Tori Spelling needs to worry about the potato salad, the person is a quack. It's a disgusting message to be putting out there.

`````This bias is not merely applied to the stars. I know that I would never get ahead as I'm certainly not good looking. I loathe my appearance and always try to fade into the background. It's prevented me from speaking in university, wanting to apply for jobs or meet new people. Studies prove that women who are good looking have it easier in life and are more apt to be judged in a better light. So, while we cannot discriminate on the basis of some body's colour, we certainly continue to do it on how somebody looks.

`````I certainly hope that they cut this girl (Misha Barton), some slack. Otherwise, she may be just one more woman who resorts to coke or any of the other chemicals out there that help you lose weight fast and keep hunger away.

LEMON REPORT---THIS COMPUTER IS SPELL CHECKING WORDS THAT ARE SPELLED CORRECTLY.

MEMORIES OF ATTACKS BY FLAMING MARSHMELLOWS AND FISHING HOOKS

`````I got off work this morning, and I am now officially on vacation leave. When we were kids, we always spent the Labour Day long weekend at the cabin. I know that's how I got my amazing bladder control. The roads would be a mess, with old men in hats holding up the wagon train in their Winnibego behemoths. Dad would manage to pass these people, and he certainly wasn't going to pull over to use the bathroom only to start all over again. Dad would do well on "The Amazing Race."
`````What is it that tells a person to invest in a house on wheels at the very time in their life that driving skills begin to go down for many? They would look terrified as they plowed their way through "Hell's Gate" and the aptly named "Jackass Mountain." They would somehow rediscover the gas pedal everytime there was a passing lane. Other then that, there was so much flashing of red from their brakelights that it should have enduced epileptic seizures in those so prone. You knew that if the licence plates came from the great plains or prairie provinces, you were doomed. Every corner, every hill, would set off a chain reaction as they panicked. For those used to being able to see their dog running away for a week, the canyon was a nightmare. I could never figure out the irony of naming something that moved like a tank after a swift animal. Who were they kidding? Forget the cat-like monikers. Let's just call this thing for what it is; the Turtle.
`````Once the roads forked off, we'd stop to eat in a hot town in a valley basin. The same guy was always sitting on a bench in the front. Dad would veer off for the bar, probably to drown his sorrows over stupid drivers, while we'd head with Mom for the cafeteria. I've come to the realization that nobody ever actually buys those wienies on the metal post; the ones that whirl round and round like some meat hamster cage. A product that can cook forever and not change consistancy cannot be good for you. The same went for those desserts; featured in a twirling glass case. It was a collection of variously coloured cubes of Jello, with fake cream dolloped on top. They looked like treasured jewels from Tiffany's as they spun on their mirrored platforms.
`````Mom would never order any food for herself, but would then insist on picking off my plate. It was years before I learned that mind-trick that the calories don't count if it's not eaten from your own plate.
`````Of course, this stop provided us with the opportunity to finally (FINALLY!) use the washroom. Here was my introduction to pay toilets. There was one free stall at the far end, and obviously, this one never got cleaned. In return, it had the best graffitti; who was passing through from where. Who was a no good man stealer that all women should watch for. Funny how the stuff scribed into stalls in men's rooms puts down women, but so does most of the reparte in the female section. There's never a comment about what a no good dog some guy might be. Nope; there's the name and number of the Scarlet Woman herself.
`````If we were lucky, my cousins would be up at the lake for the duration of our stay. My male cousin never once managed to cast a fly-rod. It forever missed the water, but would imbed itself into the flesh of some victim instead. It was like playing "Go Fish" combined with tag . It didn't really matter where you stood, that hook would hit the spot. It was probably how the citizens of San Francisco felt when the Zodiac killer was loose. Poor guy; things didn't go well for him. I still have the scar from a lava like mix of cinders and marshmellow that bored its way into my hand. I figure that's got to be what the China Syndrome will be like when it takes place.
`````The worst thing was the trek to the outhuse if you had to go at night. It would mean tossing on shoes and making a dash for it in the fairly cool night air. By then, the brisk walk would have you wide awake. A person had to be diligent about doing the spider check before they sat down, too.
`````We spent most of the time in or on the water. Going swimming, now in hindsight, was like a physical enactment of that "Bones" song...you know...the toe bone's connected to the anklebone, etc. The water was cold, and we'd slowly immerse ourselves in it, before taking that faithful plunge. Our boat was called Fred, and we were left to our own devices as we rowed around the lake. At night, we would try to tune in radio stations from far flung places. This, of course, was the electronic version of the licence plates we'd watch for when we drove here. A collection of other places, not here. Night also meant campfires and ghost stories, accompagnied by the wienie that fell off its stick and into the flame just as it was finally ready. I always had a stack of books with me too, which I'd devour along with my sunflower seeds. They got better and saltier towards the end of the book.
`````My brother has taken his family up to the lake, and now there's portable DVD's and carry along toilets. We were never bored, but kids now need their gadgets.
`````I still crave a roadtrip; a drive to no where as long as it still includes the proper collection of Pixie Sticks, Diet Pepsi and good music. My mind would still scan for the exotic plates; I kow it would. But, alas, my road trip partner has had his fair share of train museums and my eclectic tastes. So, I'm having to spend this holidy close to home. No exploring the old mine that I want to do, no wax museums, or eating black bean cakes in a Chinese garden. Oh well, now I don't have an excuse for not cleaning the house.