MISSING OLD FRIENDS

We like to think that we're going to keep in touch with friends forever, but somewhere along the way, life happens. As a child, it's usually a move. Perhaps it's easier for kids now with the internet, but once upon a time, a move meant the end of the world. After highschool, university and the many changes that we undergo in that period of our lives means that we drop old ties whether we want to or not.

Marriage, especially, changes the dynamics of friendship between women if one of them stays single. Events are still run around couples and the single person soon finds themselves dropped from happenings. The odd wheel man out, so to speak. I guess it must upset the silver pattern or China setting not to have things match.

A number of years ago a friend of mine moved across the country. I really miss our dinners. I work seven in a row and each time I used to hit my rest days I'd do the long drive into the city that I miss so much and we'd meet at The Four Seasons for drinks. We'd always like to try a new restaurant and then the theatre or a film. The dinners were long, drawn out affairs as we'd catch up. Before he quit we used to have the bartender in on our ten minute rule. Only ten minutes of major bitching about work and then it was on to the real things that mattered. If we went on beyond that he would look at us and go,

"Ladies, please." We once got into a tirade about politics and the recent election. When a very well healed man left he stopped and thanked us for the most entertaining evening he'd ever had at that bar. Hours later when we went to leave, we found that the tab had been taken care of. Those lively conversations cannot be replicated by the internet. I miss the face to face and trying new food.

You cannot make new old friends. The cliche is true. My best friend at the moment is a male, but when he got married that was it for our road trips and spending all our time together. That's to be expected. It still hurts. I miss my bud.

I lost another close friend to office policy and a bad choice that I believe stemmed from some chemical imbalance on her part as it so came out of left field. Like many places, where I work has standards which labels certain relationships as taboo. For example, people employed as teachers, priests, doctors, therapists, etc. cannot get involved with those who are clients or under their care. My friend crossed that boundary. We'd always talked about those who did that sort of thing and neither of us understood it. We used to spend our time before this talking for hours and venting about work. We'd go to see concerts and watch videos. I knew who she was hopelessly in love with. It certainly wasn't the person who threw away her career for; and consequently all of her friends.

I should have a highschool reunion this year. I feel odd about it for a number of reasons. I know that I am depressed at the moment and I am not the person that I used to be. But, it will be sad to see those people with whom I lost touch.