~~~~~It's coming on fast, and I'm totally screwed (Scrooged). Like other things planned; diets, budgets, cleaning---this too has fallen by the wayside. My good intentions of getting the Christmas shopping done early have failed me again.
`````Two years ago it began to snow in November. Every single time that I had days off, it snowed. I was literally stuck in the house and couldn't make it out to shop. I ordered items from Sears for my neice and thought I had it covered as they promised delivery by a specific date, and I was well within those parameters. Of course it didn't work out; in fact, the items arrived well after my neice's birthday in January.
`````I work seven days in a row and then have to get all my laundry, banking, etc done on my days off. I hardly relish the idea of fighting the crowds to do last minute shopping. The malls here are crazy, as I swear that some women do nothing but shop at the best of times. They camp out on those hard wooden benches in various wings of the shopping centre, and can be heard bellowing to their kids (who obviously have ADHD), "Don't touch that!" Perhaps the children are deaf too, as they certainly don't listen.
`````So, before the blizzards strike, I want to get this out of the way. It would be a whole lot easier if I had tranquillizers on hand. I wonder how many people check into The Betty Ford clinic because they relapsed from Christmas shopping? I guarantee that if a person paid a little extra and a couple of those cute mini-bar type booze bottles came with the shopping cart, the entire process might not be so painful. There might be some cart hit-and-runs in the munchies aisle, but it has to be better then listening to Mariah/Shania destroying a classic carol sober.
`````It would be much easier to shop if I knew what to buy. Every year I ask my brother to provide hints as to what his wife and my neice want. I give the older girls money, but I'm clueless as to what the eight year old needs. My brother merely gives me that passive male shrug. Let me tell you, this is why men end up getting socks and soap-on-a-rope. It's revenge for the "I dunno," response.
`````My Dad? He likes to watch television and electronic gadgets are beyond him. Neither of my parents can even figure out how to change the timer. It's a "time warp" at their house---forever 1200---.The digital camera and satellite radio I've bought him in the past have not had full usage; likewise the massage chair from Sharper Image. Mom has all the jewellery she'll ever need thanks to my dirth of ideas.
`````Between the calories and not knowing what to buy, I dread Christmas. The traffic sucks, I never get the cards sent out anymore and I'm scheduled to be working again. The tree is a lost cause, as my crazed ferals would set upon it like jackals on an antelope. They like to eat all plants; even plastic ones, and they are attracted to shiny objects. They're so greedy they'd even go after the dreaded fruitcake.
`````I might as well go hang my head in shame right now. I just know that this is not going to end well. Bah, hum-bug.
I'm bad at buying gifts too. People either need to tell me what they want or else take cash.
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