SICK OF BEING SICK

I had to book off sick on my last work day (Saturday night) as a migraine came on quickly. Only just a while ago did I become mobile. I had gotten up on Monday morning to take some Gravol and then crashed again. When I felt that I wasn't going to turn back into the reincarnation of Linda Blair in "The Exorcist", I hustled quickly into the kitchen and fed the cats. I saw that Ollie, ever practical, had opened the cupboard door and looked for the kibbles. Unfortunately, Lumpy only eats canned food, and the dexterity might be there for thieving and stealing toy mice and food, but can openers are not within Ollie's realm. To be honest, the appliance I currently own is a P.O.S. and I keep meaning to replace it (along with the socks and underwear that lack elastic).

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As an aside, I once knew a guy who took great pleasure in telling me, over and over, that my cats would eat me one day. I guess wanton women deserve it when they are attacked by strangers for their trampy dress. Cat women, such as myself, deserve it when we die alone and are eaten by our pets. He had attended an expert foresenics conference and he detailed for me which animals dispose of human remains in what fashion. Cats, he assured me, were the most ruthless. I think he meant to shock me, as perhaps my shy and quiet nature deceives. In actual fact, I am very attracted to the macabre. I told him that I wouldn't want my pets to go hungry merely as a result of my lack of planning. Less belly for the undertaker anyways; consider it a form of liposuction, post-mortum. As long as my little darlings found me "corpus delicti," all was good. Ask the Donner party...it all tastes like chicken.

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That task over with, I began to feel bad again, and flopped on the bed for the rest of the day. I left the door open, so this time I felt the twomp, twomp as various cats joined me.

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At the last minute, I am washing my work outfit. I have nothing to eat in the house as I didn't get out to purchase groceries and of course, the Christmas shopping did not get started. You guessed it....the weather report predicts snow this weekend. I lost several pounds as I threw up so much and my face is a bad yellow that even the worst fake and bake tanner couldn't achieve it if they tried.

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What a waste of days off. Migraines suck.

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(Art by Picasso)