LOSER'S ANNONYMOUS....

I was joking with my friend that this is just the twelve step program that the world needs. Only, I doubt that there would be a rush to join. After all, how many people would want to admit this as their first step. Hello, my name is....and I am a loser.
Story of my life, I am afraid. I have written before of my love of the arts. Despite that, I have zero talent. I have an incredible appreciation for it but grew up surrounded by many relatives who managed to inherete a gene which blessed them with an ability of one sort or another. They can draw, sing or play an instruement. I can do nothing. As a child I somehow fell in love with musicals and could recite all the lyrics. I'd pain any neighbourhood dog with my singing. To this day, should I be cleaning the house and the headphones are on, my singing will drive the cats to launch themselves off my loft. I fear that the people next door might call the cops one day on me for some newly created by-law offence. I'm sure a judge would understand should they tape the noise.
I have a stack of art books sitting on my shelves. If I ever came into money, I'd love to take a tour of the best galleries in the world. Just my luck, I was probably the only little kid in the history of elementary school so dismal at it that I was kept in after school for failure to draw a proper stick man. I still recall my shame.
It goes beyond this. My brother always had an ease with speaking to people. I recall how shocked people would be when they found out that he was my brother. I was so introspective and shy. He would have girls phoning up, giggling, then hanging up. I recall having that ability once and it was called a blackout. It was so weird. I was seventeen years old and it was a post graduation trip. My friends and I were taking the train across the country and they served us alcohol; they didn't care. I recall finding myself sitting in the bar car, surrounded by a bunch of people I didn't know. I was the life of the party. How in the world did this happen? I was being very entertaining. Obviously, a person cannot go through life like that, although the concept was tempting.
I was also in the centre of very good looking relatives. You know it's bad when your own mother laments the fact that you don't look like your cousins. It would have been okay had they been bad people and stuck up, but they were nice...they were funny...they were smart. One went on to study at the music conservatory at the same time as she studied law. One has since met royalty and film stars. Mmmm,,,did I tell you that I am the family loser? When we were kids we were very close, but I began to feel that given my social ineptitude and my obvious grotesqueness, why would they want to hang out with me? So, I just stopped talking to them one day. Then I stopped eating. Of course, it didn't help me grow up to be a six foot tall super model and I never did pick up the phone to call my cousins. I gained weight again and felt ever worse about myself.
So, I am thinking of forming a charter for this club. No dues. Just a willingness to admit that one has bad luck with things, like I do. That, despite doing regular maintenance on ones vehicle, it will surely fail every time there is a bit of balance in the bank account. That one owns pets who zero in on the one area that is carpeted in the entire house to projectile vomit. Things like that.
On that note, it's noon and 34 degrees and I have to get to bed.