MADNESS AS SEEN BY MARYA HORNBACHER

MADNESS: A BIPOLAR LIFE ---Marya Hornbacher

Years ago I read and enjoyed the book "Wasted", as it was one of the best books I'd read on eating disorders (and trust me, I have gone through many). A while ago, I picked up a book on bipolar disorder written by Marya Hornbacher. After her initial work, she just sort of seemed to disappear. There hadn't even been a guest appearance on Tyra or Oprah. So, where had she been? Well, this book unravels that mystery.

As with her book on anorexia, Marya doesn't hide anything; she is brutally honest and frank. She lets us know that she wasn't necessarily the nicest person to be around while she was having problems. She is very honest in examining her motivations as well.

"Don't Go in the Basement!" You know the feeling. In the horror movie, there's the girl, headed towards the door. Behind it is the staircase which leads down to the basement and her certain demise by Jason or Freddie. Not only do you want to call out and tell her to stop, but there's that part of you too that's angry or frustrated with the girl for her own risky behavior. After all, she's not oblivious to the fact that bad things have been going on around her. It was a dark and stormy night with piled up bodies and flickering lights, yet our girl feels the need to visit the wine cellar below.

Marya helps us understand via her writing why she, and others with bipolar illness may do the things they do. First of all, why do people with diabetes do what they do? It's an illness; first and foremost. There is a change in the way the body chemistry works which is beyond their control. Nobody wants to be sick, especially when society attaches a stigma to it. As for the medication, it has side effects and the right combination needs to be found. Not all people can afford to have it nor is it paid for. The family doctor may not understand the best protocol and there's a waiting list to find somebody who does. Marya explains how long it took for her to get diagnosed and this is a woman who was in and out of hospitals for much of her life for treatment for her eating disorder. It took a long time for somebody to clue in. I use the diabetes analogy, as nobody blames the victim if they see them eating white rice occassionally. Yet, society tends to judge those with chemical illnesses differently.

At times, Marya explains that she did not want to take her medication. After all, she was a writer and it interfered with that. Some of the medication also made her gain weight. For the reader, it can be frustrating to read. This is a woman with an obviously high I.Q. She's well versed in compulsive behaviors and addictions. Although it took a long time for her to receive a proper diagnosis, once provided her Psychiatrist was very blunt with her as to the risks posed by continued drinking and by inadherence to her prescription protocol. What did she do? Why, she opened that door and charged headlong down the steps to that basement. She began to consume vast quantities of alcohol which not only made the pills noneffective but had a negative potential outcome on her liver. She is open in her writing about driving drunk and recklessly; she pulls no punches in this work. Marya would be hospitalized, saved, warned; all to no avail.

We are lucky to still have this gifted woman with us.

This book is an interesting read, but also informative for those people who may know or suspect that somebody is bipolar. They'll understand why they may not take their medication; that the initial manic phase does feel good. Really, who wouldn't resent having to take medication for the rest of their lives, especially at such a young age? It isn't merely a case of just taking some pills and getting on with it. As an aside, people who take lithium must have their levels monitored and tested. In her case, when writing is your life, what do you do when the thing that may save your life blunts what drives you? It's not a book for for the squeamish, though, as she describes in detail how she found herself carving her arm one night. The book runs the gamut from being poignant to hilarious.

The more good writing on this topic, the more people will understand. Patty Duke bravely spoke out on her battle. I hope that libraries stick this one on their shelves as sometimes people have to push their family doctor for answers. And guess what....ones teenage daughter may be doing more then acting out. Unless she gets proper help, she may opt to self medicate out of guilt of not being able to control herself. Marya Hornbacher helps people get, in an interesting way, that concept. Smart people cannot always fix their own problems.

Finally, if it helps parents or loved ones understand that they aren't to blame, all the better. It's an illness. That's the one thing that I continue to be troubled by in regards to my almost starving myself to death when I was in university---the knowledge that my parents might blame themselves somehow. This isn't anybody's fault and it isn't bad---no more so then anything else that ails you.

...........