It's Always HER Fault

I'm sure that by now everybody is familiar with the websites that out "the other woman."  These purport to give the scorned wives a platform in which to vent their spleens over the injustices they have suffered.  In doing so, they can offer a fair amount of entertainment.
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In reading the stories,  I've come to a few conclusions:  many of the men work in the military or as truck drivers.  An awful lot of the stories mention having "the usual problems marriages have and then we had another kid."  In fact, they seem to have more than the national average which makes me ask a question.  Do some people have children hoping it will be the glue that holds a marriage together or does having them cause an already unstable situation to become worse?    Several of the stories mention one of the parties becoming "deathly ill" at one point.
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As the stories go on, the truth will out.  At the start, it's the fairy tale, with the "perfect man" in wonderland.   However, a few lines in will reveal that he's sometimes not had secure income or has put his hands on the writer.  Oh, oh, Prince Charming drank too much and did some time for a DUI.  I missed that part when I read Cinderella.
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Despite all of these foibles, he's still a keeper, since the other woman gets branded a whore, he remains anonymous,  and the poster stays with him.  She won the war and kept the prize.
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Not all waters are clear.   There are stories posted on these sites that have had follow up comments claiming knowledge of the case.    Some people cannot let go.  A divorce has taken place or a relationship has broken up.  The other party has gone on with their lives and met somebody.  They never wrecked a home because it didn't exist at the time of the meeting.
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I think we also know couples who break up and get back together as often as I check the oven door when I'm cooking something.  People who have "broken up" are eligible for dating, especially in the eyes of the new party.  God only knows what they tell the person they meet on a dating site or through mutual friends or at work.  If they are living in their own place, by all appearances, they are single.  There are people who thrive on drama and love  living in their own "Lifetime Movie of the Week."  Don't blame the other woman for the chaos.
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Some men right out lie.  They tell the woman they meet that they are single.  By the time she becomes aware that the story wasn't true,  she's emotionally invested.  If she pulls away now, she's  still going to be called the home-wrecker and she's devastated on top of it all.    People want to believe the people they love, so there's more filler---the wife is crazy and he can't leave because she'll kill herself or won't let him see the kids.....fill in the blanks.
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It's all in how the post gets written up and once it's out there, a reputation gets ruined.  What if that person were up for a job interview?  There's always the possibility that it could be done on purpose---to give somebody else the edge.
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By the way, either sex can do this.  However, since these are websites that tend to expose females, I'm using the male gender.
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There are women who are obsessively jealous and accuse their partner of being involved with any woman they come into contact with.  They won't allow them to have any female friends, which is difficult when they have to interact with women on a professional level.  I'm sure we've all met a few of these in our lives.  I recall one  posting in which the woman wrote that her partner "disappeared for four hours," all because she had been texting and could not reach him.  Again, we've met the type; a person who is attached electronically to somebody and they must answer, as though they are on probation.
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Which gets me to another issue---the snooping and spying.  I am appalled at how acceptable it has become.  There is constant mention of tracking devices and the reading of the other party's personal e-mails and texts.  It's interesting that the police are mandated to get a court order to do this with a murder suspect, but these women  have no qualms over a gross invasion.  If anybody did that to me, it would be the end.  Trust is essential and paranoia is sad.  If the relationship has  descended to the point where a person feels a need to snoop, there are already issues.  Finally, I feel that when people do such things, it speaks of their own character.  They reflect onto others something that they themselves would do.
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The double standard persists that women still get branded with the home-wrecker label.  It's her fault that the man strayed---like Eve she tempted some poor innocent and led him astray.  If anybody mentions this on these sites, they too will get called a "whore."  I believe this was a tactic well used during the Red Scare.  I detest it.  It's bullying at its worst.    I certainly don't condone a specific behaviour, but I know nothing of these people's lives or what actually went on.  I wasn't there.   It is one thing to e-mail nude photos to my neighbour's husband whom I know is married.  It is another for a person to meet somebody at a function and be told that they are single.
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So?  It's sad that people who are wrongly defamed cannot come after the other party.  What does it say about us as people if we get on there and call out Scarlet Woman?  There are news stories that deserve comment and scorn much, much more than this, such as animal abuse, child neglect and horrific assault on human rights currently happening in much of the world.  It's one thing if you were there and you know the truth, but then blame the guy too.
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Really, any one of us could be falsely accused by a crazy bunny boiler.  And that's the truth.
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