E.A.P. FORGETS THIS ONE

`````"What happened to her?" Admit it. Either you've asked the question or somebody close to you has. After getting a job a woman you know has suddenly changed drastically in dimensions. I'm not talking the few extra pounds that a person might gain the first year they move away from home; I'm referring to the change which makes people step back. The elephant in the room (no pun intended). `````I've abused food out of anger and frustration myself. While I've written about my eating disorder in past blogs, it takes a long time for it to ever really "go away", especially if one doesn't seek treatment. Like any addiction, a person has relapses. Like any addiction, it is what one falls upon in times of stress.

`````There have been times when I have opened the fridge that I might as well have screamed the "F" word at the top of my lungs. The door was unleashed with the full fury of the prison gates after an evil dictator was felled. Out, out came the demons. The cause? Work. I was 22 years old when I began working in what had until then only recently been a mainly male occupation and they were not happy to employ women. We were sometimes reminded of that on a daily basis. To let them know that they had upset us would let them know that they had won.

`````I laugh when I hear people say that they binged when they refer to eating one cookie too many. I'd go full out. I'd pick up a take out order of spanokopita and then a pint of Haagan Daz. I'd top it off with a can of spray on whipped cream. Don't forget the batter; just eat the cookie dough raw. Of course, the finishing touch was the pink laxatives. They had a speed like effect on me in that they'd make my heart pound and skip and I would not be able to sleep. It took me a while to stop the food abuse. At some point the pain just got too bad. However, I now have severe TMJ so I think my coping mechanisms has just shifted. I still just clamp my mouth shut.

`````When a bad incident would happen at work, the men used to go out afterwards, once upon a time, to have a drink at the Legion. That used to be what people did. However, a woman couldn't do that. If she did, she would be accused of trying to steal somebody's husband or she would be labelled a tramp. How to deal? I think a lot of women resorted to the misuse of food. The Employee Assistance Program, which was developed sometime in the late l980's always seemed to direct itself towards problems which were male centered. Don't drink. Don't take it out on your spouse. I remember one pamphlet which they gave us that actually advised us to take up hobbies such as fishing or hunting. Great. For those on the edge, get a gun and kill something.

`````One woman that I once knew took up body building to the extreme. She would fast prior to a competition and eat nothing but egg whites. She managed to find a doctor who prescribed Ionamin. She somehow managed to sneak clenbuterol across the border for weight loss (which isn't even prescribed for humans). I'm sure she was on steroids, as one day at work she threatened to hit a male supervisor for no reason at all. Her jaw also developed the square build associated with the abuse of certain steroids.

`````I knew somebody else who exercised compulsively and went on and on about its benefits. There is nothing wrong with keeping fit in moderation, but I could tell that this person had crossed the line. We all know when somebody is using a behaviour for the wrong reasons.

`````I've thought about it, and I guess it comes back to that issue of control. We still do not have it to the same degree as men in the work place. Or, we still don't feel like we can voice our opinions. Unfortunately, we still find solace in food.