LISTEN TO THE VOICE

`````Have you ever had the experience of owning a dog who likes everybody yet will display an aversion to a person for no obvious reason? The hackles will go up and the dog will growl as though it felt the need to defend you. I doubt that the animal was chasing windmills.

Dogs, like many animals, are extremely sensitive to things such as scent, changes in heat, etc. Interestingly enough, these are the same sorts of things that high-tech lie detection devices measure.

`````We are still part of the animal kingdom. We no longer have to rely on our senses to survive the way others in the food chain do so I think we've lost touch with those abilities, but I believe they are still there. People still make reference to that sort of chemistry when they talk in terms of romance. For example, they'll say that they were drawn to somebody. There's a multi billion dollar perfume industry that's looking into the power of pheromones.

`````I think that instinct can keep us alive and safe too, if we pay attention to it. I've always been very good at reading people. I've used numerous terms when I discuss it---vibes, feelings, whatever. I have not often been wrong. Even as a little kid I could tell when somebody was being insincere. I could see that while their mouth was smiling at me, their eyes had all the deadness of a shark.

`````The saddest confirmation that I ever had of this involved a man who worked for my Dad's company. My parents had gone away for their annual trip and I was looking after the family business. "John" came to pick up his cheque and I spoke with him for no more than five minutes. He was polite and did nothing wrong. When my parents returned I told my Mom that something was up with "John". I told her that I got the same vibe from him that I'd gotten from men who had real issues with women. I said that he was hiding something. My mother got really mad at me. She told me what I'd studied and done for a living had warped me and my perception of people.

`````Only a few years later, the truth came out in a horrid fashion. "John's" current wife had wanted to leave him and suddenly both were missing. It turns out that he had done ten years for killing his first wife. He had been sober since his release from prison but had started drinking when his marriage fell apart. Their bodies were found; murder/suicide.

`````I think we're socialized to be polite and because we don't want to be rude we don't pay that voice enough attention. Predators know this and take advantage of it. This is how women get hurt and made use of. This is certainly how they take advantage of the elderly. They know that they are probably on a train heading off the rails, yet they find it hard to pull the safety cord for fear of being disrespectful. Women put themselves at risk for diseases by staying with men that they suspect of cheating and most likely laughing about it. When the truth comes out, there is the double whammy because they are so often angry at themselves for having been "so stupid". That voice was there all along. Listen and heed.

`````Women can also manipulate or con others by playing the role of friend. In the meantime, there goes the bank account or the husband. One of the best movies is "All About Eve" as to some degree we've all had a "friend" like this at some point in our lives. It is actually one of the biggest and saddest betrayals out there. Yet in hindsight, when we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit our complicity in our own demise in some small way by wanting or needing that person in our lives to the point of ignoring the red flashing lights.

`````So, recognize that it isn't good to be paranoid, but don't be afraid to cross the street when those alarm bells start ringing upon sighting somebody. Know that there is a bit of a guard dog within you and let it rescue you.