TICK THE BOX AND MAKE YOUR CHOICE

`````The recent news reminded me of the choices which we are sometimes forced to make. By having a living will we can make it easier.

`````I had a friend ask me if I would be with him to help him die, should the time come. My friend knew that his fight with AIDS was lost. He was now literally a skein of translucent, gossamer flesh over brittle bones. Gone were the days when he could sit on the patio and sip cocktails under the lights which he'd strung. He had once built things; a big, strong lean body had been his to flaunt. Now there was a box attached to the outside of his heart so that injections could be made easier. His veins were gone.

`````He loved life and had been raised Catholic. He had once rejected the idea of assisted suicide but he knew that if he went into the hospital, his mother could never make the choice to turn off the machines. He also could not tolerate the idea of dementia. He knew that my friend and I would do it right and that we would not balk at the end---leaving him to suffer alone. He also knew the consequences.

`````Friendship. The true meaning of it sometimes comes down to these sorts of decisions. We said yes. Thankfully, he went quickly and without pain in the hospital. We did not have to risk it all.

`````I have had to be in the room when the plug was pulled for others that I cared for. To watch the family make that decision is sad and it is important to have others around. To hold the hands of the dying is a profound experience to which I cannot find words. The whispered last words. More than anything, there is the hope that they know that they were loved and valued and that their loved ones will continue to be cared for. For while we are but animals, I think we want to have some meaning in our lives and to think that we made a difference---that it means more than just foraging from one day to the next.

`````As soon as I was legally allowed to do so, I signed a donor card and made my wishes known. The CCU is not the place for somebody else to have to make that decision. Now, if only I can find a placement for my brood of cats.......