AN ALIEN IN YOUR OWN SKIN

`````I happened to come upon this film by accident one day and it was one of those ones where there was a connection. It wasn't that I enjoyed it; there was something in it that reflected my own life.

`````I was born here, but when I was young, my family returned to Europe. The telecommunications industry has really changed in the last few years and it's hard for people to understand, but it's not that long ago that there were parts of that continent that still lacked what people in North America took for granted. For example, there were only a couple of television stations at the time and they wouldn't start up until something like five in the afternoon. Mind you, they were very liberal with what they ran.

`````I found a documentary once that had been filmed in the area I had lived in and I showed it to a friend of mine. It was filmed in black and white in the l970's. My friend thought it was from World War Two, given the way people were dressed and how they lived. The elderly people were lugging old big tin milk containers and working in the barn in the same way they'd done for decades. In fact, I had relatives who did not have indoor plumbing when I was a child. I still recall having to trudge through the snow when I visited in the winter to use the outhouse.

`````When we returned, we had to pack up everything we owned into a few trunks and suitcases. It meant making tough choices about what one left behind. It really was leaving all that one owned behind. A person knew that they'd most likely never see others again.

`````It was odd moving back to North America. Not only did I have to relearn the language, but when I did, I had an accent. The culture was different also. Over there, it had been no big deal for kids my age to run around top-less. After all, little kids all have the same parts. When I did that, it was greeted with shock. I didn't understand the way many of the girls behaved, in that they seemed to enjoy teasing others immensely. I refused to join in, and that labelled me as different. I opted to have males as friends, much as the girl in this film, "A Soldier's Daughter Never Cries." I ended up getting teased because of my refusal to play by the rules.

`````It was funny....a rumour started when I was in highschool that I had moved up from California, as I looked like the quintessential California girl. I was blonde and tanned easily. That's the last thing I felt like. I always felt like an alien. I was fairly shy and quiet. I loved to read and was an independant thinker. I was very much a loner and I enjoyed writing.

`````I guess this is why I have always had an understanding of how immigrants feel. They may be nonwhite, on the whole, but I know how they feel. It's also why I never give in to the herd mentality of picking on others.